Thursday, February 5, 2009

Things you say can and will be used against you... or written down at least.

Team Fantastic Quotes:

 

Ben on Dida’s nosebleeds:

 “Maybe you’re getting your period out of your nose.” 


Ben halfway to the top of the Devil’s Marbles posing naked with his “female vagina” (Ben, a vagina is a female thing in the first place, man...)

 “What am I doing up here?”

Eirik sitting on a rock down below:

“You’re being weird again, man.”

 

Eirik on Steinar wanting to tie Chris Martin to a tree and fuck him so hard up the ass with a stick it comes out of his mouth:

 “It still sounds awfully sexual, man...”

 

Ben on Navman: “It’s so clever!”

 

Ben hot and sticky in his swag in Kununurra:

“I’m sleeping naked and I don’t care if anyone sees my penis. “

 

Eirik to Xenon on being accused of looking at Xen's cards during poker:

“Sorry, dude, I’m not looking at you 'cause you’re actually not all that interesting.”

 

Ben trying to find a better expression for ‘big dick’ in a conversation on Russell’s (Wycliff Well) penis:

“He’s got a massive DOODLE.”  (Still sounds like you’re talking about poo, Ben.)

 

Steinar to Xenon on the Darwin sculling-contest where he kept yelling at this guy that he was an irish cunt:

“ I reckon you scared a lot of people.” (So do I, man, but it was funny as hell!)

 

Xenon to Eirik on speaking Australian (during poker):

“Hey man, you’re the one that learnt overseas that they don’t speak better Australian anywhere than here.”

 

Xenon on Ben’s amazement of seeing rainbows next to the car while driving through a big puddle of water:

(Ben: Wow! A rainbow next to the car! How did that get there?”)

Xenon: “Sometimes you gotta wonder...”

 

Ben: “I’m a real fool.”

Dida: “Why is that, Ben?”

Ben: “ Oh, I don’t know. Because I ate a subway, an ice cream and a milkshake.” 

Team Fantastic Abbreviations (most of which are Ben’s or about Ben)


                 (Click for bigger version)

LWD- Loose Water Drink

LWDWDAS- Loose Water Drink While Driving And Smoking

PBJ’s- Pre Bed Jobs

LPD- Loose Powerade Drink

PBSM- Pre Blood Sugar Monster

WAWFU- Walking Around With Fly Undone

WAWFUAPO- Walking Around With Fly Undone And Penis Out

NTOTS- Nearly Trod On Tiger Snake

BYFO- Ben, Your Fly’s Undone

CFOSCAT- Can’t Find Object So Chucks A Tantrum

ALAP- A Long Awaited Poo

NPIS- Naked Poo In Shitpit

ABNDE- Another Ben Near Death Experience

BBH- Ben’s Black Hole

CBMADWW- Chased By Motorbikes Across Desert While Wasted

TOFBB- Thrown Over Fence By Ben

WIMHYSM- Where Is My, Have You Seen My

Rub a dub dub- I can feel my own grub(biness)...

After a fair few weeks on the road, I have come to this list of things that make me happy and generally keep me happy wherever I am:

 - A toilet (with a door)

- A shower

- Regular feeding

- A night temperature of less than 30 degrees so I can sleep

- Sleep

- A day temperature of 35 or less (preferably around 27)

- Dry heat opposed to  the horrible sensation of 90% humidity

- Semi-clean or so clothes

 - Occasional privacy

- A good game of poker

- Snuggles

- Selective occasional contact with the outside world

- Some level of tidiness

- Money

- My pillow

- Escapism

- My camera

- 18 bottles of free red wine and more coming!

- Texts or emails from people I love

- Occasional phone calls

- Meeting gorgeous, new people

- Making new discoveries

- Swimming

( And probably a whole lot of other things that escape me for now...)

I've felt pretty damn grubby these past days. Some things, like shoes, are getting rather smelly. Other things are just rapidly falling apart and waiting to rest in peace. 

Monday, February 2, 2009

A not so itty bitty, but very friendly giant says ta ta for now...


Eirik, prince of jeans, in Westgarth street 

Eirik went back to Norway on the 20th of January.

We were all drinking, being merry at the airport, forgetting why we were there when it all happened too fast. He had a ticket in his hand and walked through the bye bye gate. I don’t like the bye bye gate much, and I didn’t like Eirik leaving. At all.

Drinking at the airport (photo: Steinar)

Looking slightly tired from pre-roadtrip shopping...

Eirik the explorer!

In a lot of ways Team Fantastic was reduced to Team Great.

I miss my not so itteh bitteh giant kitteh.

A lot.

Escaping the nudie beach in Aldinga


In a lot of ways he’s still very much here, and always a part of the team. In Margaret River we ended up at some people’s house late one night for a game of poker. I couldn’t help but think of Eirik’s reaction to that game had he been there. Every hand was like a Bob Dylan (in present time) concert. Slooooow and very unorganized. Alright, it’s not fair to Dylan to call him unorganized, so I’ll keep him out of that part of it. But it sure was slow. Ben and I wished Eirik were there, because this game (which was already driving me insane) would have made him crazy. And Eirik would have kicked some ass and wiped the table, I reckon! 

Eirik as sound man in Geraldton

Riding a pretty sweet home-made bike in Geraldton

I guess I could keep going on and on about all the things he would have loved and all the things I would have loved top share with him. I could spend hours writing about things we did when he was here and how much fun we had, but that’s not going to change anything. Eirik is awesome. He's by far one of my favorite people to play with, to photograph and to hang out with. He's an awesome co-procrastinato, adventurer and just a fantastic guy.
At the Pinnacles...

Fishing in the sunset in Perth

Eirik is still here. Kind of. First day after he left I renamed my Buzz Lightyear Eirik, name tag and everything, and he goes where I go. We have yet to record some of our adventures, Eirik and I. We got interrupted by hippies or happy’s or whatever else we were surrounded by. We have not surrendered to the interruptions...and will return!

Pre-poker drinking in Perth

Attempted sand surfing in Aldinga

Yeah, I miss my not so itteh bitteh giant kitteh. He has the best laugh and some of the best hugs. These photos can't even begin to describe his part of the adventure, but if nothing else, they should tell you that

I loves my Eirik.

Until next time, kitteh! 

Speaks for itself...  :(  (photo: Steinar)

Perth

We rocked up to Ben’s uncle Brian’s house in Perth a few days before Eirik was leaving us. Wow, what a change of scenery. A spa before breakfast, a bed to sleep in, and lots of yummy food. Mmmmm... We didn’t do much work while there, but tried as best we could to enjoy our time with Eirik. Playing poker, fishing, drinking too much and seeing a band very hung over. It was a good few days. I really enjoyed Brian and Carol’s (his wife) company. They are really good people and lots of fun! 

Friday, January 30, 2009

Fishing with Ben and Dida.


Partners in crime and... fishing!

I love fishing. Even more so, I love fishing with Ben. Actually, I will go as far as saying that right now I love fishing with Ben more than I love fishing.

It’s not that we always catch something; it’s the pure joy of just throwing a line out, cutting up gooey octopus or other gunky stuff, having a beer and good company. We have a lot of fun!

The most memorable day was fishing with Ben while he was still drunk of the jetty in Geraldton. We’re no experts to say the least, but I’ll be damned if we don’t have the right attitude. It was about 1 in the arvo and Ben was still drunk from the night before. We got our bait, some new hooks and set out to catch the Big fish.

Ben still drunk from the night before ready to go fishing

So... It wasn’t the best time to go fishing obviously. But we got really excited when we saw the prime spot out on the jetty was ours for the taking. (There was no one else fishing at that time...) And away we went, both with handrails and the enthusiasm of a whole fishing boat. The fishies started biting as soon as the line went in. Our new throwing technique gets the line pretty far out. After a few moments I get my first bite.

Oh joy! I reel it in and we’re both looking eagerly into the water hoping to see a sweet fish. I pull it up and it’s a fucking blowfish. Boooo. We’re able to get it off the hook and back in the water. New bait and another line. Something bites again. Another damn blowfish. I can’t remember at what point Ben stabs one of them to death. They pop. Damn blowfish. Some other people (kids) show up and throw lines in. They catch real fish. Eatable fish. Not big ones, but still proper fish. We start hating these kids. One kid comes up and takes Ben’s spot as he helps me unhook another blowie. He turns and in a very unlike Ben voice says, ”That’s my spot, man!” She wheels it in and walks away as quickly as her small feet can carry her.  Do not fuck with our fishing.

Ben...still drunk, but very happy

At about blowfish number 7 I am getting real angry. Ben says : “Kill it, Dida! Just kill it!” I hesitate. Mmm... No, I can’t really do it. “Come on, kill it, Dida! Stab it! Come on, kill it! KILL IT!!” At this point I loose my temper completely and stab the shit out of this fucker. “Die, fucker, just DIE!!” Multiple stab wounds later, we turn around to only to see a poor little girl staring at me, probably scarred for life. Ops. Tally for the day was 9 blowfish for me, 1 for Ben. I hate blowfish.

So, as Ben throws the last line of the day out he somehow manages to also throw the handline in. How is still a mystery to us both. Standing with only the line in hand, he looks at me with a look only Ben can pull off. “What are we gonna do?” “Well, Ben, we can’t leave it out there, we have to get it in somehow. Try pulling it a bit, it might come a bit closer.”  So done, and the line slowly moves closer and Ben’s collecting a lot of fishing line. It’s close enough to where it seems plausible to get to, so Ben climbs down off the jetty, barely holding on. It’s still to far away. I try to pull it a bit closer and Ben tries to catch it with his foot. After a few moments of what must have looked like a circus, he manages to get a hold of it and hands it to me.  One thing down, now all we need is for Ben to get up again. Easier said than done as there is nothing to climb on. I can see that he’s starting to stress out and tell him to give me his hand. “You can’t pull me up, I’m too heavy! You’ll fall in! I don’t want to fall in, Dida, there could be sharks in there!” Ah, sweet irrational fear. The bay probably had no sharks, but I’ll be damned if I would go in there! “Give me your hand, man, I can pull you up!” Ben nervously gives me his hand and I use all the strength I have to pull him half way up. So, now he’s halfway hanging by his arms. Still can’t get up. To cut a long story short, we somehow manage to get him out of the water and as he stands up on the jetty blood trickles down his feet having cut himself during the stunt. But, we got the handrail in and all was good.

An itty bitty fish, but still a fish! (photo: Ben)

Another funny fish story happened on a jetty in Cervantes, home of the Pinnacles. We’re out fishing not having much luck and our German friend from Hutt River and Geraldton, Amin shows up. I finally catch a little fella through the eye, which I have Ben promptly kill, and Amin goes to help Ben fix something on his rod. It’s very windy. Amin puts his precious Hutt River stubbie holder and beer on top of a pole-thingy. It falls in the water. And this is what happens.

Now, you got to admire this, man. It was pretty chilly, and who knows what those waters have in them. Good on ya, Amin!

 Oh, and before Amin showed up Ben suddenly grabs me thinking he’s seeing a shark. “ Shark!! You’re standing too close to the edge, Dida!” We’re holding each other looking out over the water as we see this fin. I’m thinking shark too for a split second. All of a sudden this ‘shark’ starts going up and down in a very un-shark-like manner. It’s a dolphin. And we’re looking stupid again. This is why I love fishing with Ben. It’s always an adventure. It’s always fun. It’s always full of love and all the things that put a smile on my face. I’ll go fishing with you any day, man. You just gotta love fishing with Ben and Dida. 

Goddamn internet and other goddamn things

This whole blog is starting to piss me off. If it's not some dodgy internet connection, it's Blogger deciding to be a royal pain in the ass.

For a while now I have had several blogs ready, images as  well, but unable to upload them due mainly to reasons stated above. 

I refuse to surrender. Yesterday it took me about 4 hours spread over most of the day to upload the Port Hedland images, which are not very big in the first place. 

It may take aaaaaaaages, but I'll get there. Eventually. 

The Hutt River Province...



The Prince checks passports to make sure they're legit

Prince Leonard’s kingdom: home to royalty, cows, sheep, art and grand ideas. And lest we forget, the 40 000 odd visitors a year.

Our gorgeous chef Eirik cooks up another storm

Wow. What a man. I have the utmost respect for this man and what he has done. At 84 he is as sharp as I can ever hope to be. We spent some time in his kingdom and during this time I learnt a lot. About him, about Australia, about injustice, about standing up for yourself and much, much more. Prince Leonard is an educator, a visionary, a jokester and the kind of guy you just want to hug. 

Interviewing the Prince

I have met a lot of people who think he is crazy, that think he is taking advantage, that he is an egomaniac, and to all of them I would like to say that they are very likely an uninformed bunch that should take a real, hard look at what it actually is he has done and what he stands for. They might (and I presume they will) be surprised and not at least, educated on the subject. If they still think he’s a weirdo and do not agree with his ways, fine. I do.

Camping in Hutt River

 I am proud to have a Hutt River visa in my passport and my first ever Royal Invitation to come celebrate their 40th anniversary on April 21st 2010.

Eirik gets his Visa

Not much I could say would even start to do this man and his cause justice. I’ll refer again to The Inland Sea and the intro video there.

Sending some Royal mail (photo: Steinar)

His kingdom now counts 13 000 citizens across the globe. I am hoping to become one of them. He has applied for Hutt River to become part of the UN and is currently waiting to take Australia to Haag to settle his claim on larger parts of Western Australia. My vote is for Prince Leonard. I really enjoyed my time there and would very much like to come back.

Hanging out with the Prince before departure

As you might gather I am quite overwhelmed still over everything we experienced there and will therefore (sadly) cut this short.

 

 All hail the Prince!

Tired workers

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Turtle Haven



Out shooting some scenery, or just looking weird, in Port Hedland... 



Ben doing his thing

Take photo here...

Port Hedland was stinking hot. (Yeah, I know I say that a lot, but man... it was unreal!) The ground on our site was covered in some sort of cloth, and I don’t know if it had anything to do with it, but the ground retained a lot of heat. So, once the tents were set up, they never really cooled down. It was really hard to get any sleep whatsoever. You stick to everything.

We were lucky enough to stumble upon the breeding season for flatback sea turtles while there. Not sleeping much, it wasn’t hard to get up at 6 in the morning to head down to the beach. The first morning we didn’t see any turtles, but saw many tracks leading up from the water. We met a group of volunteers that told us when they usually come up and decided to head back during the afternoon when the tide came in. (We were picturing a couple of hours in the sweltering sun with various degrees of sunburns and no turtles. But as it were it was a good decision. As soon as we’re back down on the beach I spot the first turtle getting out of the water in the distance. We rush over as fast as our feet could carry us across the sand.

 Turtles meet and greet

Ben watches nervously as this turtle headed straight for him


As we were there more turtles got out of the water and we were all very excited and careful to respect the magnificent animals as they dug their hole and laid their 50 odd eggs then dug another decoy hole to confuse any predators, before crawling back down to the water. If my memory serves me right, each turtle comes back to the same beach about three times every breeding season and lays about 50 eggs each time. But then they might not return for another two or three years.  The beach was pretty much covered in tracks and holes.

And it keeps coming.. Looking a bit freaked there, Benno! 

This was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed. These animals are incredibly awe inspiring and beautiful, and even more so when you know that only about 1 in a thousand make it from hatchling to adult. Apparently it’s the temperature of the sand that decides the sex of the turtle. Cooler sand- boys, warmer sand- girls, too hot- death. 

The next day we got up early again and headed to the beach, this time in hopes of finding some hatchlings. The first thing we come across is a very deep hole where a dog as dug its way down to the eggs and eaten them all. A common problem for turtles and a devastating thing to find for newfound turtle enthusiasts.

We walk around for a while looking for nests and babies, and the same group of volunteers show up.  As it were, we were looking in the completely wrong places. They kindly point us to a little ditch in the sand where they are. To be quite honest, it took me some time to realize that I could actually see them. And when I saw their two little heads and flippers buried in the sand, it scared me to think how easy it would be to step on these poor little things.

We sat around for quite some time waiting for them to heat up enough to wake up. A little breath here and there, but no big movements for a long time. As the sun rose and it got hotter things started happening a lot quicker than I thought it would. The myth of all turtles being very slow died right then and there. One of the little ones started jiggling his way (temporarily burying the other) and rapidly headed right for the water, which unfortunately was at low tide. There’s not much you’re allowed to do to help them except shoo away hungry seagulls as they need to imprint their little GPS’ so they can find their way back to the same beach when old enough to lay their own eggs. We walked the little fella out to water, watching him struggle his way through footprints, rocks and other obstacles. Once in the water it didn’t take long before the poor creature ended in a little rock pool with an (evil) octopus. And such this sweet little life ended all too soon.

The other little one also woke up and was quite disoriented for a while before finding the right direction. And as soon as it did, a greedy seagull zoned in on him despite our efforts to scare it off. At this point we had to leave, already late for camp check out and covered in sweat and sand. But, a kind soul we met there informed me in a comment on this blog that it found itself a octopus free hiding place in the water under a rock and laid there waiting for the tide to come in. Perhaps only to be eaten by a shark or perhaps to be one in a thousand to make it.

As a last note, I would like to add this. Regardless of what sort of wildlife we need to have a bigger respect for the nature that surrounds us. Littering, driving on the beach, even your ‘innocent’ little pooch can cause grave harm. For turtle hatchlings it is enough for us to pack the sand too hard on top of them to create a tomb from which they will never emerge. Plastic bags for example can cause turtles to drown. Respect the nature around us, respect the planet we live on, grow up and stop dropping your shit everywhere. It is unnecessary, disrespectful and very harmful. This planet is not ours and ours alone. We are not almighty. We are not Gods and we should stop acting like we are. 

People watching a little hatchling making his way to sea

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A love letter to Air conditioning.



Dear Air Condition.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I miss your soft cool air, I miss how it embraces me and gently caresses my body.

Dear Air Condition, where have you been? I am wandering a valley of scorching heat, failing to find my way and clinging to my last bit of sanity.

Dear Air Condition, please come back to me. I shall never again doubt your abilities or your goodness for yours is life in a fresh breath of air. I shall never again let others doubt you or let them keep you away from me.  For in thy cool breeze is the life, lust and glory I long for, reborn and rejuvenated.


Prologue.

Dear Air Condition. I thank you for the times you have saved me and kept me conscious. I thank you for my remaining sanity and for regaining my humanity. 


Team Fantastic at Wycliffe Wells. Less hairy than they are now... 

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ben tries to learn how to roll the norwegian R's in Barossa Valley

Re-cap 2

Kununurra and Fitzroy Crossing. Went there. Did that. Incredibly hot and humid. Saw wild dogs and smelt dead cows. (Which by the way was absolutely revolting as you can imagine I’m sure.)  Ben vomited out the car window again during breakfast. Drove about 2000km in three days with 5 people in the car. Whoopdeedo. Not as bad as it could have been, but still far from comfortable. I was quite amazed at how liveable we were able to make it. And Xenon provided a much appreciated cheerful mood in the back seat.

Xenon goes Cowboy Bebop

BROOME

We entered the New Year in Broome, again in sweet air condition in a little unit in a caravan park close to the beach. Every night gave massive storms, and there was no way our tents would have survived. The thunder actually made the whole house rattle and shake one night, and the lightning went off like someone had put about twenty light kits around the house.

Ben trying to look scary and aggro. You're too cute, Ben. 

Steinar and I celebrated our 4th anniversary on a camel safari on New Years Eve. That was great fun for about ten minutes. It was way too hot to sit still on a camls back, and we had forgot to bring any water with us. The anniversary itself was sweet fun all day. As it should be when you've got a fantastic man like I have. :) Broome was stinking hot, man...

Ah, yes, I almost forgot. At some point, and I can’t remember exactly when, the guys taught me how to play poker. Oh mama, I love that game! I can proudly say I won my second game. (Not to be repeated since, but I still do ok.)

Xenon and Ben in the man-made pool, Anastasia's pool, during our first attempt to check out those dino-prints. Water levels was way too high. 

Xenon looking as beautiful as ever on New Year's. Weird bars do weird things to already weird people. Myself included. 

Two awesome guys. :)

Xenon and random New Year's friends. 

Xenon flew home from Broome and we continued on after checking out some dinosaur prints. Unfortunately the tide wasn’t low enough this time either, but at least we got to check out some sweet rocks and cement replicas. Hey, it’s better than nothing.



The next few days the heat got worse. One day saw 47 degrees in the shade and I almost passed out in the car from the heat. That kind of heat makes me real sick, real fast, and finally sweet, sweet air condition was put on. Oh sweet mother of all releases. I heart air conditioning.